Getting married in your mid 30’s means the conversation had already started about trying for a baby. My husband and I married in September 2012. I’d already started taking folic acid. I’d not been on the pill for years. And the pair of us agreed that we’d stop using protection on our honeymoon.
So our baby-making journey began. We decided to book our first ski trip for the following March. I’d never been and we both agreed we didn’t know what would happen by then. Plus, if we were pregnant, I’d still be able to get a feeling for mountain life. My other half could enjoy taking me there and getting some snow before life completely changed. I remember so clearly at the time other friends who were wanting to come and also trying to start a family deciding not to, just in case. I’m so pleased we went as you’ll find out, I wasn’t pregnant come March.
By the start of 2013, I’d introduced ovulation sticks into my world. And on the advice of one of my married girlfriends who was starting fertility treatment, agreed to try her digital Clear Blue testing kit. This was meant to be more reliable. So I invested in the more expensive sticks. And each morning started the process of monitoring myself to learn about when I might ovulate.
For the first time in my life, I began to understand more about my cycle. It angered me somewhat how little I understood, the signs that your body tells you. The reality of the number of eggs I had, and chats with girlfriends about cervical mucus. Something I never imagined discussing! I was embarrassed thinking back to my biology days at school and how little attention I paid. How could I not realize that I was born with all my eggs? That taking the pill could thin the lining of my womb? That smoking and drinking affected my chances? And that choosing to focus so much on my career had potentially jeopardized my chance of having a baby.
All these questions, which you also might have running through your head.
But the truth is, there’s no point in having regrets. I’d been having fun. My career was going brilliantly and until now I wasn’t in the right place to think about all of this – but if I’d been more informed. Might I have been?
By this point, my best friend had started treatment for IVF. By that, I was very aware of the emotional roller coaster she was on. We talked about it all the time. Her positive attitude was inspirational! And now, I’m so pleased to say that she is the mum of twins after three cycles of IVF.
One of the main topics of conversation with my peer group is having a baby. Other friends had been trying for some time and there was always the announcement on Facebook one day or the next or the phone from another pal, excitedly announcing they were pregnant.
Don’t feel bad if you want to come off social networks like Facebook!
In today’s world of social media, we just can’t wait to tell the world our news. If you are on a journey to start a family and it’s taking longer than usual, please prepare yourself for pictures of other people’s scans, or baby bumps.
You may choose to come off sites like Facebook if it all becomes a bit much, which is what one of my friends did. That is fine and you can explain to those close to you if that is what you choose.
This time in your life is about self-protection. It’s about spending time thinking things through and talking with your partner about your options. Go and speak to your GP before you drive yourself into a frenzy as there is a lot of help out there.
This blog intends to be a good starting point for you, as I share my fertility journey and hope you’ll share yours.
Until the next time,
